


Poisson D'Avril

by goldenwanderer



Category: Warehouse 13
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-06
Updated: 2014-04-06
Packaged: 2018-01-18 08:39:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,119
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1421809
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/goldenwanderer/pseuds/goldenwanderer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Helena plays a simple trick on Myka for April Fool's Day. The real trick is keeping the others from spoiling it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Poisson D'Avril

**Author's Note:**

  * For [TurnandTurn713](https://archiveofourown.org/users/TurnandTurn713/gifts).



Steve is the first to notice. He is the only one awake when Myka and Helena come downstairs in the morning for breakfast, hand in hand. Unsurprisingly, Myka is fully alert, even at this hour. But she keeps her movements slow and gentle for Helena’s sake, who clings to her wife as though still half asleep.

He sees it when Myka lets go of Helena’s hand – leaving a disgruntled Helena behind – and moves to the other side of the kitchen to procure a cup of coffee for herself, a cup of tea for Helena, and something to eat for them both. When her back is turned, the bright blue is blatantly obvious.

“Uh, Myka -” he starts to say, before a movement to his right catches his attention. He turns to see Helena, suddenly significantly more awake, shaking her head quickly. Her gaze is fixed solidly on him, and though he’s seen that stern, warning look before, Steve is sure this is the first time Helena has used it on him. It’s just as frightening as he thought it would be.

“Yeah?”

Steve is left speechless for a moment. Helena continues to stare at him until Myka starts to turn around. All at once she looks half-asleep again, and Steve wonders briefly if this is all an act.

But Myka is waiting for his answer so there isn’t time to dwell on that. With both their eyes on him, waiting, Steve fumbles for something to say. “I, uh – I just… wanted to know if we have any of the hazelnut creamer left.” Myka raises an eyebrow at him and Steve shrugs. He’s a terrible liar and everyone knows it, but he’s smart enough to know not to cross Helena. “It sounds good today.”

He doubts Myka believes him. But she says, “I think so,” after a beat. “Let me check.”

As she moves to the fridge, Steve looks back at Helena, who is now smiling wryly at him.

“ _Not a word_ ,” she mouths silently.

So Steve keeps his mouth shut. It’s safer that way.

* * *

Helena doesn’t give Pete the chance to notice on his own. She sends Myka off to the Warehouse with Steve, citing a desperate need for a shower before work – and promising a more _satisfying_ shower with Myka later. Once they’ve gone, she waits to catch Pete before he leaves. Steve, she can silence with a look. Pete, on the other hand, will require a verbal warning, and perhaps a threat or two, if he is feeling especially childish today.

“You did what?” She is fortunate that Pete is alert enough to comprehend her, a true miracle before he has eaten his breakfast. “Seriously, that’s a thing?” She nods her affirmation and he laughs. “French people are weird, man.”

Helena supposes that’s true, but says nothing.

“So, what, you’re trying to see if you can go a whole day without her noticing?”

“That is the general idea.”

“Good luck with that,” he laughs. “She’s _Myka_. She notices _everything_.”

Helena knows this, of course. She is married to the woman, after all.

“Can I expect silence from you, then?”

For a few seconds, Pete looks torn. No doubt the notion of a successful, albeit harmless, trick on Myka excites him, and Helena hopes that Pete has learned by now not to interfere with her schemes – the last time he was lucky to have escaped without injury. But Pete can be terrible with secrets at times, when keeping them isn’t vital to the wellbeing of his loved ones, and it’s likely he isn’t certain whether or not he can keep this one.

Finally, though, he nods and Helena is relieved. No threats today, then, if all goes well. “Don’t blame me if she figures it out. Last time I tried an April Fool’s joke on her… let’s just say it didn’t end well.”

Helena is briefly tempted to ask for the story. From the look on Pete’s face, it’s certain to be a good one. She thinks better of it, for now. They have work to do at the Warehouse and she isn’t in the mood to ignore one of Artie’s lectures. But perhaps later.

* * *

Artie never notices. He has his own troubles to deal with. With not a ping in sight, he is forced to put every agent on inventory duty for the day, and _god only knows_ how much he hates having to do that. He isn’t bothered or moved by their collective dislike of the job; he simply can’t stand the whining. And with these children, there _will_ be whining. Lots and lots of whining. The day has barely begun and his head already hurts.

Artie is also _very_ aware that today is the first day of April. Whichever idiot started the tradition of April Fool’s Day – and someday, Artie is determined to discover _exactly_ who that is – clearly did not have a devil child like Claudia to deal with. Or perhaps _was_ that devil child. Artie _knows_ that Claudia was up late last night working on some project or another – with _H.G._ of all people – and that combination can never end well. Especially not on a day like today.

There will be trouble today. Artie can feel it. So excuse him if he’s a little too preoccupied with worrying about the inevitable disaster to notice what might or might not be taped to Myka’s back.

* * *

Claudia already knows, so of course she notices. 

H.G. told her last night while helping Claudia with her vast arrays of pranks for the day (because it isn’t April Fool’s Day without a series of quality pranks, and knowing that Artie is expecting them only makes it that much more fun and challenging). It’s nowhere near the world’s best prank – it wouldn’t even get an honorable mention. It’s a kid’s prank, honestly. But it’s also kinda sweet, in a weird and vaguely old-fashioned sort of way, which means it’s perfect for H.G.

Not to mention, if H.G. can pull it off, it’ll be a first – it’s insanely difficult pulling a fast one on Myka the mega-observant. So Claudia’s rooting for her, the way she roots for just about everything where those two crazy kids are concerned.

So yeah, Claudia knows, and she’s trying her damnedest not to look so Myka won’t notice. Which is really hard to do because it’s _right there_ , begging to be stared at. And everyone knows that once you’re trying not to look at something, it’s all you can look at. 

Apparently, she sucks at the whole nonchalant thing.

“Claude, are you okay?” 

Claudia freezes and silently curses Artie for assigning them to do inventory near each other, and H.G. just a little for putting her in this mess.

“What? Yeah – yeah, why wouldn’t I be okay? Don’t I look okay? I’m super. You know me, I _looove_ doing inventory.”

And she’s rambling again, and _that’s_ not suspicious at all.

Claudia knows Myka doesn’t believe her. But lucky for her – and by extension, H.G. – Myka decides to let it go. She just gives Claudia her best _I-don’t-believe-you-young-lady_ face and says, “Okay,” before walking on.

“Sigh of relief,” Claudia mutters to herself once Myka has gone.

She’s not sure how much longer she can keep this up.

H.G. had better be grateful.

* * *

Helena makes a point of staying near Myka all day. She does that anyway, on normal occasions; she has found that being near her wife is far preferable to their separation. Her assigned inventory is, as per usual, well-removed from Myka’s side. But that has never stopped Helena before and never will. Certainly not today, when she has even more of a purpose than usual for staying so close.

It is a small victory, but it is one she wishes to relish as much as possible.

And to have the chance to do so while also gazing at Myka… well, it is a positively delightful situation, and Helena is quite pleased with herself for arranging it.

* * *

It’s there all day.

When Steve looks at it, he remembers Helena staring at him and has to look away.

When Pete looks at it, he snickers. He still thinks it’s weird, but it’s also funny, and Pete likes funny.

When Artie looks at it – well… he doesn’t. He doesn’t see it once. And when the others inform him later, he’ll roll his eyes and mutter to himself, “Children. I am working with children.”

When Claudia looks at it, she nearly slaps herself for doing it again. Then she smiles just a little, because it’s actually kind of cute.

And when Helena looks at it, she sees a small triumph. For each time she looks, it means Myka has not yet discovered it.

* * *

Myka finally notices it that night, when Helena is about to follow through with the promise she made in the morning, when she wouldn’t allow Myka to accompany her to the shower. It’s hard to focus when Helena’s lips are moving down her neck, but somehow Myka knows that the sound of paper shouldn’t be there when Helena’s hands dip beneath her shirt to traverse the planes of her back. She ignores it at first, but the rustle is definitely there, and for some reason Helena’s hands keep moving to the spot where the sound comes from. It’s just strange enough to catch her attention.

Helena smirks as Myka pulls away just slightly, confused by the sound. “Is something the matter, darling?” She removes her hands and sets to unfastening the buttons on Myka’s shirt. “You seem… _distracted_.”

“It’s nothing.” Myka shakes her head, not really succeeding in ignoring the way Helena’s voice affects her. “I just thought…”

And the sound returns as Helena undoes the final button and pushes the shirt off of Myka’s shoulders. It drops to the floor, where normally it would be forgotten, except that Myka is certain that more than just fabric has fallen. 

Helena allows Myka to pull away from her grasp, only because she knows what it is that Myka will find. Helena smirks as Myka bends down to reach for the shirt, then stands upright again as she examines it. The smirk continues to grow as Myka’s frown deepens, until finally…

“What is this?”

… Myka discovers it at last. Slowly she pulls the sea blue piece of paper, in the shape of a fish, free from where it is taped to the back of her shirt. She stares at it, turning it over and over in her hands, before looking back up at Helena. Confusion fills her face, and the look is so uncharacteristic and so endearing that Helena has to laugh.

“ _Poisson d’Avril_ ,” she says, and though Myka does not speak French, she knows just enough to understand the phrase. Or, rather, she can guess at the translation, though its significance is lost on her ( _what the hell is an April fish?_ ). Seeing the confusion still painted on Myka’s face, Helena can’t resist. “It’s a French expression. I believe it means, _gotcha_.”

And that doesn’t explain it at all, but it makes Myka laugh, and that – beyond the small triumph on Helena’s part – is the intent.

“It’s a French tradition,” Helena continues, once Myka can breathe again. “Wolly and I first learned of it in the midst of a search for a curiosity in Paris, when a young boy succeeded in affixing a paper fish to the back of Wolly’s coat without his knowledge. It was not so easy, then; tape is so much safer and easier to use than pins.”

Helena laughs as Myka flinches just slightly at the thought. “Have no fear; Wolly was unharmed. Though I cannot say the same for Charles – he suffered more than once at Christina’s hands, once I had passed on the game to her.” 

Mentioning Christina draws a sad smile, as always, but the memory is a happy one. Myka sees the look and squeezes Helena’s hand in hers. 

“So, the idea is to stick a fish on someone’s back without them knowing?”

“Yes, in effect. Though I’ve no idea how the tradition originated.”

“Does it matter?”

“I suppose not.”

Myka holds up the paper fish again and looks at it. “So, when exactly…”

Helena chuckles and touches a finger to Myka’s nose playfully. “Ah, now that is my secret to keep, darling.”

The way Myka pouts is adorable. Before she can say anything, Helena pulls Myka toward her and kisses her. 

When they break apart, Myka’s eyes have darkened and she stares hungrily at Helena. “Now, about that shower…”

Helena smirks and takes Myka’s hand to pull her backward. The shirt and the fish fall to the floor and are forgotten.

**Author's Note:**

> I learned about this tradition in high school French class. I did a little research, and it's possible that it might have existed before Helena was bronzed. But if not - well, then this isn't historically correct (but neither is a female H.G. Wells, so there is that). My apologies if it isn't explained well enough. Exposition in dialogue is tough.


End file.
